As much as I despise texting I have been texting a lot. It is so much easier that actually having to pick up the phone say the niceties and then 10 minutes later get to the point of the call. With a couple of keystrokes you can ask a question and get an answer. I am even getting good at text language.
For Christmas, the two older boys got IPADs. Yes, not sure what Santa was thinking on that one. They got itouches a few years ago but they really wanted ipads.
We set up text accounts for the boys. It started out as a tool for them to make plans with their friends. It comes in handy when we need to get in touch with them while they are at other's houses (where they are connected).
The rule in our house is that Mom reads all texts or emails. It is a rule that was established at the very beginning.
It all started out so innocent. Jay is definitely the more social one of the two. He got himself, and eventually Ethan, included in a group text. There were 15 people in this group. All kids from school.
I read their texts and decided I did not like the language and content and sometimes pictures that were included in the group texts. It forced me to have another rule. They were no longer aloud to text in the group texts. They could text their friends each individually. Jay tested us many times by texting in the group text. Punishments ensued.
Sometime after Christmas, Jay had a few texts from some girls that were inappropriate.....disgustingly inappropriate. I was shocked to read what these girls would say. After a long discussion, we decided that Jay's texting would be no longer. We explained that it was not his fault but we felt we had to do something. My thoughts are that many people will write things that they would never have the nerve to say. So he was able to keep his email ability along with facetime. He does have to communicate with his girlfriend you know. Yes, he has had a girlfriend for a while now, a story for another day.
E was not involved in the texting drama so he was able to keep his account active although he is not allowed to read the group texts that come in. Honestly, I am not worried about him as he is so disinterested. But he does text his best friend to make plans.
I went to clean up Jay's emails the other day and realized that he had deleted every email he received and sent. Not only that but he deleted all his Internet history. Needless to say I was a bit mad.
I decided his punishment was to lose his ipad for the month of February. This is NOT the first time he broke the rule and received a punishment. If he can't follow the rules then he will lose his privileges.
So the husband approached me the other day and asked me if I would consider giving him his ipadi/itouch, yes he lost both, back before the end of the month. After he saw my reaction, he said that we could take all of his email and Internet capabilities off and just let him use it for the gaming aspect of it.
I am not sure I buy into it. I made Jay sign a piece of paper describing why he lost his electronics for the month. I put the caveat in it that I may give him the ipad back with the stipulations above.
I have really tried to explain to my kids that whatever they say to others in email and texts can follow them forever. All it takes is one person to take a snapshot and they can send it on to others. Point in case, I intercepted a text that was sent from a friend's phone by an 8th grader. There was a picture of this 8th grader shooting a bird with incredibly inappropriate racist language. Guess what I did, I took a snap shot so that it could be shown to the parents. I think the kid lost his phone for a month but this will never go away. I know all I can do is repeat and hope that it sinks in.
