Play date conundrum

Jay has been asking for a play date with one of his friends at school. I am in the classroom a couple of times a month so I know all of the kids in the class. I know the boy, he is nice but he is the one who taught Jay the word "a*s". The boy has a brother who is 17 months older than him.

I have been emailing and talking with his Dad regarding finding a time to play. We finally agreed upon this past Saturday from 12:30 until 2:30. The boys tentatively had baseball practice at 3 as long as it didn't rain. We also had a birthday party to attend for our neighbor across the street. Baseball did get canceled and we all went to the birthday party.

Saturday morning the phone rings as I am on the treadmill. My husband speaks with the Dad and he said he would bring the boy over at 12:30 and then he asked to speak to Jay. My husband at first thought this was a strange request but thought maybe the boy would like to say something to Jay. Jay gets on the phone and says a few yes and oks. My husband asked about the conversation and the Dad asked Jay if he would like the boy's older brother to come over for the play date.

This really threw us for a loop and really not knowing what to do or say when they got there. We had about 1 hour to think about it. Both boys show up at the door ready to play. The Dad comes in and I asked him questions about the older brother. He then brings up about asking Jay if he wanted the older brother to play. I took this as my opportunity to tell him it was ok this time but in the future if he could ask us instead of Jay. He apologized and made note.

I have never been in a situation like this. Normally when someone calls for a play date with one of my twins, I don't send both of them. And I don't even ask if it is ok if their brother joins in on the play date. Sometimes both of mine are friends with the person and they both go. I am a firm believer in that they each need to find their own friends but be open to playing with the other's friends. For the most part they do a great job with this.

The play date ended up being fine. The boys all played well together and I only had to talk to Jay's friend once regarding throwing balls at EE.